I highly doubt that I’m the only writer that gets anxiety when it comes time to post/publish a piece of work. I get bad anxiety when I have to click that button. It seems like it’s the hardest thing to do. It makes me laugh, because all I hear in my head as my mouse pointer hovers over the button is “push the goddamn button” from the movie Rush Hour. I blame my perfectionism with my writing as the culprit. I hold myself at a high standard when it comes to my writing and I never want to feel like my writing is shit. I never think that my writing is good enough (in my mind), so it gets hard to click that button.

I initially started my blog to feel better about my writing and learn from it, but it’s still difficult to press the “publish” button on here. Every time I publish something I reread it several times over again and see little things that bother me. Of course, I have the option of editing my work, but if I did that I would edit until I just delete the entire post. Yes, I reread my work before posting as well, but I will still have that little irk to click edit after posting. 

Not only do I post my writing here, but I literally just posted (5 minutes ago) my first short story to a Fanfic website. I was shaking as I clicked the “post” button. I edited my story during the posting process about 8 different times – no joke. Yes, I read fanfiction, it’s something that I’ve enjoyed for the last 20 years. I never had the courage to post my own stories that I thought of though. I love reading other people’s work, because it’s so good and I love learning how others compose stories. I started writing my story in December and finally had the guts to post it today. Although I had anxiety, I felt accomplished to see my story posted with everyone else’s. 

I get so nervous to share my work with the public, but if I ever want to make this Writer thing work, I have stop being so judgmental with myself. I also hate it, because when you post any part of your work you open yourself up to all sorts of critics. Some people might love your work and want to read more, but others might hate your work entirely and will most definitely let you know. This is the reason I get anxiety when I post my work. Yes, I know that not all comments will be good, but I also stick to the golden rule of “treat others the way you want to be treated.” I love to read other people’s work regardless of it being a beginner type of writing. We all start at the beginning and will get further with our writer the longer we practice. I am nowhere near where I want to be with my writing and that is okay; I’ll get there.

Fingers crossed for positive feedback and positive criticism that helps me learn in the process of writing. Being guarded with my writing is a challenge, but I will eventually let my guard down and take a leap. Anxiety over my work aside, I’m proud of whatever I write and share, and that is all that matters. I write for myself, not for everyone else. 

So, here’s to clicking that “Post/Publish” button a little quicker and with a lot less anxiety! 😉